How to Tell if Someone is Talking to Someone Else on Facebook Messenger

Jim Jefferson

Facebook’s current user count is at a whopping 2.9 billion—including your friends, family, and sadly, some not-so-great people like scammers, cheaters, and online predators.

So if you’ve got that gut feeling that your loved ones are secretly chatting with someone on Facebook Messenger, we’ll show you how to tell if someone is chatting on Facebook Messenger using five tried-and-true methods. One is especially recommended to be excellent.

Why You Need to Know Who Someone Is Talking to on Facebook Messenger

There are plenty of reasons you might want to keep an eye on someone’s Messenger activity. Maybe you’re trying to make sure your child isn’t talking to strangers or being exposed to harmful content.

Or perhaps you’re worried your elderly parents might fall for a scam. You might even have noticed some odd behavior in someone close to you and just want to check if everything’s okay.

“These fraudsters view our seniors as prime targets.” — David Bowdich, Former FBI acting deputy director.

How to Tell if Someone Is Talking to Someone Else on Facebook Messenger – Five Proven Methods

If you’ve been second-guessing their every “typing…” moment, it’s time to put your mind at ease. Below are five effective methods to see who someone is talking to on Messenger—some subtle, some technical, but all work.

1. Use Parentaler to Monitor Messenger  Activity Remotely

Parentaler is a remote monitoring app originally built for parents, but it works just as well for anyone you want to keep safe.

You only need to install it once on the device you want to monitor. From there, Parentaler quietly runs in the background, tracking all activity without leaving any trace on the phone. All the data is securely synced to a private, easy-to-use dashboard that you can access anytime, from anywhere.

Com o Parentaler, pode:

  • View all sent and received messages
  • See exactly who they’re chatting with, including names and contact info
  • Monitor and save media like photos, videos, and voice notes
  • Get alerts about suspicious language or threats
  • Block unwanted contacts or conversations right from your dashboard

That covers text chats, but how can you tell if someone is video chatting on Facebook Messenger? Parentaler has you covered there, too. It keeps call logs and has a built-in screen recorder that captures snapshots of any video call made on Messenger.

So you can see exactly who they’re talking to and what happened during the call. That’s what makes Parentaler the most discreet and effective tool for keeping track of Facebook activity.

How to Set Up Parentaler in Minutes

Here’s how to tell if two people are talking on Messenger with Parentaler:

  1. Head over to the setup page.
  2. Enter your child’s name and age (this helps customize the monitoring).
  3. Choose the device type—Android or iOS.
  4. Pick the package that works best for you.
  5. You’ll get an email from Parentaler with the app link and setup instructions.
  6. Follow the on-screen steps to install the app.
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2. Analyze the Friends List to Check Who’s Online With Them

If installing an app feels like too much or you’re just looking for a lighter approach, you can try checking their friend list and who’s online at the same time. Here’s how to see who someone is talking to on Facebook Messenger for free.

Say you’re curious about who your friend might be talking to on Messenger.

  1. Open your Messenger and see if they’re online (look for the green dot next to their name).
  2. Visit a friend’s Facebook profile and click the “Friends” tab. Look for any mutual friends.
  3. Then check your Messenger again to see if any of those mutual friends are also online at the same time.

If two people are consistently online together, especially late at night or at unusual times, it might mean they’re chatting. Combine that with other clues, like constant comments on each other’s posts, mutual tags, or sudden privacy changes, and you might start to see a pattern.

That said, this method does come with a few limitations:

  • If their profile is private, you may not even be able to see their friend list.
  • If they’ve turned off their online status, you won’t see the green dot either.
  • And even if everything lines up, you still won’t be able to view the actual conversation, so your guess might be wrong.

3. Check iCloud Backup (For iPhone Users)

If the person uses an iPhone and has iCloud backups enabled, you might be able to retrieve their Facebook Messenger data, depending on the settings. But you will need their Apple ID and password to access the backup.

Here’s how to see who someone interacts with the most on Facebook Messenger on iPhone:

  • Ir para iCloud.com
  • Log in with their Apple ID
  • Click Settings > [User’s Name] > iCloud > Manage Storage > Backups
  • Select the device they use for Messenger
  • If Messenger is toggled on in the list of backed-up apps, there’s a good chance the conversations are stored
  • Para actually read these messages, either:
    • Restore the iCloud backup to a new iPhone,
      ou
    • Use a third-party tool like Dr.Fone or iMyFone D-Back to extract the data from the backup

Once restored, you can open the Messenger app and view all sent, received, and even deleted messages (if backed up).

Keep in mind, the method might not work if they’ve disabled Messenger backup or have two-factor authentication enabled on their Apple ID.

4. Review Google Activity (For Android Users)

Android users have their own version of backup through Google Activity. However, it only tracks usage details, such as when Messenger was opened and how long it was used, but doesn’t display actual Messenger messages. You might also see URLs they tapped on inside Messenger.

Here’s how to tell if someone is chatting on Facebook Messenger on Android:

  1. Visit My Activity
  2. Log in using their Google account credentials
  3. Type “Messenger ” into the search bar
  4. Use filters to narrow it by date
  5. Click any activity listed to view timestamps, device info, and more

This method also only works if they’ve enabled Google Activity tracking. Plus, you’ll need access to their Google account to log in.

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5. Don’t Forget Archived Conversations

When someone wants to clean up their inbox without deleting messages, they often archive chats. Which hides the exchange from the main inbox view, but is still fully accessible. That makes them a common spot for chats someone might want to keep, but out of sight.

Here’s how to see someone’s Messenger chat in the archive:

  1. Open the Messenger  app or Messenger.com
  2. Tap or click the three-line menu
  3. Go to “Archive”
  4. Scroll through the list—you may find long-forgotten or hidden conversations

FAQ

Why can’t I call someone on Messenger even if they are online?

There could be several reasons. They might be using Messenger, limited to message settings, disabled video call permissions, or even blocked you. Sometimes, poor internet or app glitches also get in the way.

How to see who someone interacts with the most on Facebook Messenger?

Messenger doesn’t offer a ranking system, but people they message the most usually appear higher in the chat list. If you can access their phone or account, check for pinned chats or the most recent conversations.

How to track someone through Facebook Messenger without them knowing?

The most reliable way is by using monitoring apps like Parentaler. It tracks Messenger activity in the background, including messages, call logs, and shared media, and sends data to your secure dashboard without alerting the person being monitored.

How do I know who someone is talking to on Messenger without being on their Friends List?

If their privacy settings are open, you can view tags, comments, or interactions on public posts. That can give you hints about who they’re close to. However, if you require confirmation or full message access, a tool like Parentaler, installed on their device, is the most reliable option.

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Conclusão

If you’re wondering how to find out who someone is talking to on Facebook Messenger, there are a few ways to go about it. You can check their friends list to see which friends are online at the same time, or dig into their Google or iCloud backups.

But if you’re looking for something more accurate, private, and comprehensive, Parentaler is your best option. It works quietly in the background and gives you full access to Messenger interactions. And don’t forget to check the archived chats—some of the most revealing conversations are hidden there.

Jim Jefferson é a voz por detrás das publicações do blogue Parentaler. Um verdadeiro especialista em segurança digital com mais de 10 anos de experiência em comportamento infantil. Ele se concentra em facilitar a vida dos pais, esclarecendo sua experiência digital.

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