

Ever find yourself wondering who your loved one, child, or friend is messaging on Instagram? You’re definitely not the only one. In fact, in a survey, 60% of people admitted they looked through their partners’ social sites, and Instagram is one of the biggest platforms people want to snoop on. Whether you’re concerned about safety, building trust, or just plain curious, we get where you’re coming from.
In this guide, you’ll find out if it’s actually possible to check someone’s Instagram DMs (spoiler: it is!). We’ll also walk you through three proven methods to see who someone messages most on Instagram, including a powerful tool that makes the entire process simple, discreet, and effective.
Can You Check Someone’s DM on Instagram?
Yes, you can—but not through the Instagram app itself. Instagram doesn’t let anyone peek at someone else’s DMs unless you’re logged into their account (which they obviously wouldn’t allow if they’re hiding something).
But that doesn’t mean you’re out of options. With the help of specific tools and smart monitoring apps, it’s completely possible to see Instagram messages. Whether it’s for parental control, relationship peace of mind, or online safety concerns, solutions exist that don’t require you to hack or break any rules—just smart use of trusted monitoring software.
3 Working Ways to See Who Someone Interacts With on Instagram
You won’t find what you’re looking for just by scrolling through their profile. If you want the real scoop, here are three methods that actually work—and don’t require a password.
1. See Instagram Messages with Parentaler
Parentaler is one of the most effective monitoring tools out there. It gives you full access to someone’s Instagram DMs—without them ever knowing. With Parentaler, you can see who someone interacts with the most on Instagram, with access to:
- All text messages (sent and received)
- Shared photos, videos, and voice notes
- Instagram stories and posts
- Call logs (if they use Instagram calling)
- Keyword alerts (get notified if certain words pop up)
Unlike later options below, Parentaler works remotely and stays completely hidden. The person you’re monitoring won’t see any signs that they’re being watched, which makes it one of the most discreet and reliable ways to see who someone is talking to on Instagram.
And it doesn’t stop at Instagram. You’ll get insight into their activity across other apps too, plus access to web history, phone calls, and more—all from your own private dashboard.
How to Use Parentaler?
Now, how to check DM on Instagram on Parentaler, exactly? It’s actually pretty simple. All you need to do is download and install the Parentaler app on the device you want to monitor.
- Head over to the onboarding page.
- Enter basic info like your child’s name and age (for custom settings).
- Choose the type of device: Android or iOS.
- Select what kind of activity you want to monitor.
- Pick a subscription plan that fits your needs.
- After checkout, you’ll receive a full setup guide and app installer via email.
- Install the app on the target device—it only takes a few minutes.
- Grant the necessary permissions.
- Once installed, the app disappears and runs silently in the background.
After setup, Parentaler immediately starts tracking the device and syncing all the data to your secure online dashboard. To see Instagram messages:
- Log in to your Parentaler dashboard from any device using the login credentials you received. You’ll land on a clean, user-friendly interface where everything is organized by app and activity type.
- Tap the Instagram tab. You’ll be able to see:
- Direct messages
- Call logs
- Media files
- Stories they’ve posted
You can also adjust what kind of data you want Parentaler to track. Don’t want everything? Just tweak the settings right from the dashboard—it’s fully customizable.
And that’s it. You’re now in full control, with complete visibility into their Instagram activity—all without them knowing.
2. Check Their Apple Watch for Instagram DMs

If the person you’re curious about uses an Apple Watch that’s paired with their iPhone, chances are their Instagram DM notifications show up on the watch too.
Of course, you’ll need physical access to the watch. Even then, you won’t see full conversations—just message previews and the sender’s name. Still, that’s often enough to know who they’re talking to.
Here’s how to see who someone talks to on Instagram through Apple Watch:
- Swipe down for Notifications: This shows recent alerts, including Instagram DMs with snippets of the messages and who sent them.
- Turn on Instagram Notifications (if off): On their iPhone, go to the Watch app > Notifications > Instagram, and make sure it’s toggled on.
- Enable Notification Mirroring: In iPhone settings, confirm that app notifications are being mirrored to the watch.
It’s not a deep dive into their inbox, but if you’re nearby often (like in a relationship or living together), this can give you a decent peek into who’s sliding into their DMs.
3. Track Their Instagram Activity Through Followers & Interactions

Want to know who someone talks to without accessing their DMs? Take a closer look at their friend circle and engagement on Instagram. While it won’t show you actual messages or notifications, it can still give you a pretty good idea of who they’re closest to or possibly chatting with.
Here’s how to tell who someone interacts with the most on Instagram without direct access:
- Open their profile and tap “Following“. Instagram often orders this list based on recent interactions (though it’s not the only factor)
- Look at who likes or comments on their posts frequently—they are likely chatting behind the scenes too.
- If they’re constantly tagging or being tagged by someone, that person is likely a close contact.
- Also, check their Story viewers—people showing up at the top tend to interact often.
Keep in mind, Instagram doesn’t fully reveal how it sorts these lists, and users can hide stories, mute people, or move their convos to other platforms. Still, it’s a solid way to spot patterns.
Conclusion
If you’re trying to figure out how to know if someone is talking to someone else on Instagram, there are a few smart ways to go about it. If you have physical access, keep an eye on their Apple Watch notifications. For more subtle clues, keep an eye on their Instagram interactions and who they’re closest to on their profile.
Or go straight to the source with Parentaler, which gives you full access to their messages, media, and more. Each method offers a different level of insight, but for complete and reliable information, Parentaler is your best bet.