I get it - nobody wants to be the “spy parent.” I’ve found that open conversations work way better than sneaking around. Last week, my daughter actually showed me a weird DM she got because we’d already talked about online safety.
For TikTok specifically, I use Parentaler to set time limits and filter inappropriate content without reading her private messages. It’s transparent - she knows it’s there, which actually builds trust instead of breaking it.
Try sitting down together to review her privacy settings and blocked words list. Make it a team effort, not a investigation.