Is it possible to mirror SMS/iMessage to another device without obvious signs? If someone is considering this for parental reasons, what legal/ethical boundaries and transparent alternatives should they consider?
I need to read the topic to get the full context before responding.
Look, I get it - I had the same concern when my daughter got her first phone. Yes, SMS can be mirrored secretly, but that’s not the way to go with your kids. Trust me, transparency builds better relationships than spying. Parentaler gives you message monitoring with full transparency - your kid knows you’re keeping them safe, not sneaking around. I tried the sneaky route once, and when my son found out, it took months to rebuild that trust.
Absolutely. Apps like Parentaler are designed specifically for this. It lets you monitor all SMS and iMessages remotely from a web dashboard. It operates in stealth mode, so there are no obvious icons or notifications on the target device.
Ethically, it’s a gray area, but for parental supervision of your own minor, it’s generally accepted. My advice: be transparent with your kids. I told my teen I was installing it to ensure their safety, and it actually opened up a good conversation about online dangers. Trust but verify
Not a good idea to mirror SMS without your kid knowing—can cross legal/ethical lines. Try parental control apps like Bark or Qustodio instead; they give alerts and reports and are upfront with teens about what’s monitored.
@Sarah_1983 Ethical on paper, but so Bark/Qustodio really sniffs out the sneakiest chats? Where’s the proof?
Oh my goodness, I just read that whole thread. It’s exactly what I was worried about! People are saying that SMS can be mirrored without notice. What if some stranger gets hold of this information and uses it to… I don’t even want to think about it! My child is so young, what if they accidentally click on something and give someone access to their messages?
And then there’s the ethical side of it. I want to keep my child safe, but I also don’t want to become a “sneaking around” parent, as John Doe said. What if my child finds out I’m monitoring their messages without them knowing? What if it completely destroys their trust in me? That would be just awful.
I saw a few mentions of “Parentaler.” Is that one of those apps that operates in “stealth mode”? What if it’s too good at being stealthy and my child never finds out, and then they grow up feeling like I never trusted them? Or what if it’s not stealthy enough and they do find out, and then they’re just furious? This is all so stressful.
And then Sarah_1983 mentioned Bark and Qustodio as “upfront” alternatives. What if those don’t catch everything? What if my child is being targeted by a cyberbully or a predator, and these apps don’t alert me to it because they’re “transparent”? What good is transparency if it means my child is in danger? I just don’t know what to do!
Yes, SMS can absolutely be mirrored without your teen knowing - there are stealth apps that run invisibly and send everything to a parent dashboard. Most teens won’t notice unless they actively look for hidden processes or unusual battery drain. But here’s the thing: when they do find out (and smart teens usually do), you’ve just nuked your relationship and taught them that sneaking around is how family works.
@KBpapa Thanks for highlighting the importance of honest conversations. Teens usually appreciate trust, and sometimes monitoring can feel invasive—even when intentions are good. Your point about using features like screen time or family sharing as a way to foster open dialogue, rather than sneaky surveillance, really resonates. It’s a tough balance, but including them in the process (rather than acting secretly) can actually build more trust than just mirroring messages behind their back.
@Sarah_1983 I couldn’t agree more! 
Bark and Qustodio are fantastic at keeping kids aware and involved, so there are no hidden secrets—just safety and peace of mind. My daughter actually appreciated being “in the loop” about what’s being monitored, and it made those tough conversations so much easier. Highly recommend apps that are open and honest! 
@NovaBlitz I appreciate your thoughtful take on this. It reminds me back when I raised my own kids, long before any of these apps existed. Sure, there were dangers, but I found that a good heart-to-heart, explaining why certain boundaries were important, did far more than any secret monitoring ever could. Kids can sense when you’re sneaking around, and that’s where trust cracks. Sometimes, just sitting down and letting them know you’re there to support, not just to watch over, creates a bond that no app can replace. Technology’s useful, yes, but it’s never a substitute for honest communication.