Based on this thread, you’re dealing with a classic parent dilemma that most are struggling with. Here’s the blunt truth: full surveillance backfires because teens will just get sneakier with burner apps and private modes you’ll never find.
The parents here are onto something with transparent controls like TikTok’s Family Pairing or apps like Parentaler that set boundaries without reading DMs. Most successful parents combine basic tech limits with regular check-ins where kids actually want to share weird stuff they encounter.
The key insight from JohnDoe_7’s experience is spot-on - when kids trust you won’t freak out, they’ll actually show you the concerning content themselves instead of hiding it.